Here’s what you must do before having sex
Jul 02, 2021
So you’ve slid into her DMs, hit it off over dinner and drinks and now she’s agreed to date night at your place.
This can only mean sexy times, right?!
Yep, all signs are pointing to Netflix and chill. High five, you’ve reached the holy land! However, don’t get too comfy just yet. Preparing for sex is like preparing for a marathon: it takes effort and forward planning if you really want to guarantee results. Plus you WILL get sweaty.
There’s a lot to consider when you’re getting down and dirty with someone for the first time. Should you make a playlist? Clean your bedroom? Do a sex prayer?
We’re here to give you some tips on how to get ready for date night, with the ultimate checklist...
Clean your room
Men have straight-up tunnel vision when it comes to sex. Stick us in a room with a pretty lady we’ve been vibing with, surrounded by piles of laundry and old takeaway boxes, and you can guarantee where our attention will be. Tbh, we won’t even notice the smell.
Women, on the other hand, are details-orientated when it comes to getting in the mood. Dirty socks on the floor are probably — no, definitely going to kill her vibe. It’s therefore crucial that you clean your room from top to bottom. That means hoovering, emptying the bin and putting your clothes back where they belong. You know, in that thing in the corner that has doors and a rail.
"Crucial that you clean your room from top to bottom!"
Wash your sheets
Ok, this one takes a bit of advanced prep, but never underestimate the pulling-power of crisp, freshly washed bed sheets. No-one wants to catch a whiff of pillow drool during the throes of passion. And no, spraying cologne on your bed won’t do the job.
Clean your car
If you’re picking up your date, be sure to make a good first impression. This means not only looking slick but making sure your ride looks poppin’ too. Head to a carwash if you’ve forgotten what colour your car is underneath the layers of grime, and throw away any rubbish lurking inside. Buy some new hanging air fresheners too, and while you’re in the shop, don’t forget condoms. Nothing kills the moment more than having to pause because neither of you have a Johnny.
"Nothing kills the moment more than having to pause because neither of you have a Johnny."
Candles and more candles
Mate, nothing is sexier than candles. Those flickering beacons of light are a total game-changer for creating a seductive atmosphere. Get your hands on some scented candles that are subtle but not too overpowering; something like vanilla. This will not only set the mood, but will help stop your room smelling like shit. Always a bonus.
Trim your balls
It goes without saying that you’re gonna want to pay extra attention to your manscaping game right now. If the date ends up (hopefully) escalating, make sure your balls are looking banging by giving them a good trim. If the idea of letting a blade go anywhere near your crown jewels brings tears to the eyes, then make sure you use our Balls Trimmer. Its SackSafe™ technology guarantees no snags and cuts: just beautiful balls as smooth as you are.
"Make sure your balls are looking banging by giving them a good trim"
Choose a playlist
Possibly the most underrated advice on this list, the right playlist can make or break the mood. Pumping techno ain’t gonna cut it and your secret guilty pleasure for Taylor Swift probably won’t either. Instead, it’s all about smooth, chilled-out jams that will slow down the pace and get things feeling intimate. We recommend checking out our date playlist on Spotify, it won’t disappoint!
Two’s company, three’s a crowd. Now, we’re not saying you should expect to chuck your flatmates out every time it’s date night — they will probably just laugh in your face. But sometimes when you’re getting to know a girl, it can help if your mates aren’t spread out on the sofa watching football and farting. See if you can persuade them to leave the house for a couple of hours — buy them dinner if it helps! Anything to give you and your date some sexy alone time.
So that’s it! You should be feeling way more prepared now for date night. Set the scene with fresh sheets and a tidy room, create a sexy atmosphere (without being too cringe), get your balls on fleek and if the mood is right — everything else should fall into place.
Good luck, we believe in you!